Silicon Valley Wife...Subscribes

January 2016 Ipsy Bag Review

I was not super-amped for my January Ipsy* bag to arrive, primarily because of the debacle I was dealing with re: my December Boxycharm (see previous SVW Subscribes post if you don’t know what I’m talking about).  But I was pretty pleasantly surprised with the goods.  Let’s review, shall we? 

I tried to artistically arrange the products in the style I've seen on people's Instagram accounts.  it was too dark and everything kept rolling around. 

I tried to artistically arrange the products in the style I've seen on people's Instagram accounts.  it was too dark and everything kept rolling around. 

First, the bag.  I think I’m a fan of this one.  It reminds me of an Andy Warhol, pop-art situation.  Nothing will ever top the galaxy print bag we got last month, but I think this one is pretty precious.

City Colors, Eyeshadow Trio, in Falling Leaves

These eyeshadows are mostly decent.  I didn’t expect much in terms of color payoff or staying power, but I was pleasantly surprised.  The colors obviously work really well together, and they fit my (and the rest of the world’s) current color aesthetic of neutralish, pinkish, brownish…otherwise known as Kylie Jenner/90’s revival. Now I don’t know anything at all about Kylie, except that the few times I’ve heard her talk, she sounds so astoundingly bored with life that I just want to suggest the two of us play a game of Jenga or watch a docu-series or go to the pet store to play with kittens or anything else that isn’t what is making her hate life so much. But I’ve gotta say, girl’s got crazysexycool makeup application.  

the balm, Mr. Write (Now) Eyeliner, in Jac

This eyeliner retails for $17.00, which is almost twice the cost of this bag.  It’s creamy and unlike some gold-toned eyeliners I’ve tried, it actually appears on my eye.  I am constantly jealous of the girls who do white and neutral eyeliner in their waterlines and look super gorgeous…erstwhile I’m piling the product in there, giving myself eye spasms, and there is nary a pigment in sight.  This is not the case with Mr. Write (Now).  He’s got my phone number, and that number is gold. 

Mitchell and Peach Lotion, in English Gardens

UGH YOU GUYS. This is my most favorite unexpected smell ever! I currently obsess over a strong green floral (if you’ve smelled Nest’s Verde, you know what I’m talking about). If not, let me help you fully appreciate the glory of this scent with a laborious and unnecessary analogy:  Imagine you are frolicking through a field.  You’re probably in England.  You’re also probably alone, because your husband didn’t feel like frolicking. Then you happen upon a garden, with a clothesline and a tea table and lots of tomato plants and wildflowers and herbs.  You feel jubilant and vivacious and are generally loving life, so naturally you decide to frolic through this garden.  Turns out it is private property, and the lovely Englishwoman who tends so carefully to her plants does not appreciate you frolicking through her hard work.  As a result of your exaggerated startle response, you lose your balance when she begins to chase you down, and you faceplant right at the intersection of a tomato plant, three nondescript wildflowers, a pile of herbs, and some dirt.  Then you inhale.  That’s what this lotion smells like.  DIVINE.

Pur-lisse, Blue Lotus Eye Serum

Apparently this sample is half the big size of this serum, which I received in my Boxycharm in November.  That means this is a $30.00 sample.  I’m so excited to have it, too, because I can officially report that this serum is the cat’s pajamas.  My crow’s feet look way more like crow’s toes and less like the entire foot of a black bird.  I’m not joking.  My dark circles have faded and I’m looking generally younger!  I’m a huge fan. It’s worth the cost. 

Trestique Lip Crayon, in Florence Fig

I really like these lip crayons.  They are smooth to apply and last for quite awhile.  They aren’t matte, nor are they really glossy, which is great. Sometimes a girl just needs a little color, sans the moisture sucking power of a matte (seriously, those lipsticks are like the Sanderson sisters sucking youth and vitality out of my lips…if you get that reference, we can be friends), or the hair entrapping stickiness of a gloss.  I have received a reddish Trestique from Ipsy before, and as far as I’m concerned, they can continue to send me a shade every month.  Keep em’ coming! 

This was the first month in a long time that I’ve liked every product that came in my bag.  It had a tremendous value (I’d estimate around $70.00), and the products all kind of meshed together.  I used the lip color, eye pencil, and shadow in a look one morning and was very happy with how it turned out.   I cannot wait to see what wonderful surprises we get in our February bags.



*Autocorrect keeps changing this to tipsy.  Tipsy bag.  I’d also like to subscribe to that, please.