Week One: I Am the Dreamer of My Own Dream
This month’s essential question: Who is in the driver’s seat of your life?
Week One’s Intention:
I am the dreamer of my own dream.
Using your life situation as an excuse is the ultimate cop out.
There you go, I said it. That may be polarizing. That might piss you off. You might stop reading right now. Hell, a year ago, I would have slammed my computer shut, called whoever wrote that some type of obscenity, and then went back to making excuses for my sad sack life, dwelling on every negative personal encounter, every unfortunate event, and every unsavory experience that came my way. Then I’d wonder why my life would never change in the way I wanted it to…
There is not a person on this earth who hasn’t felt a disappointment. Everyone here has failed, has felt heartbreak, has had life-altering revelations and realizations. Every human being, at one point or another, has felt sad, defeated, and demoralized. What phrase do we turn to in these moments? I can speak from personal experience. I know I’ve spent a fair amount of time sobbing, maybe even sometimes dramatically falling to my knees, having screamed the words:
“WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?”
Why is this happening to me. There is an error in this phrase, my positive people. Life is not happening to us. Oh no, no, no. 100 times a negative. Life, on this beautiful planet, is happening for us. Which brings us to this week’s topic—flipping the narrative of our own dream, or our reality on this planet. This might not be easy at first. I know it wasn’t for me. I had to accept a few key truths for “my dream” of reality to be, as Don Miguel Ruiz would say, my personal heaven, instead of the hell on earth most of the masses choose (unconsciously) to live in on a daily basis.
1. I create my own limiting beliefs, and those shape my attitudes and outlook on my life.
If you’ve dabbled at all in self-help or self-improvement, the phrase “limiting belief” pops up every third line of text, approximately. If this is your very first foray into this woo-woo world, let me take a moment to Merriam Webster you:
limiting belief (noun): A really crummy thought that has become ingrained in our consciousness, which usually pops up when we are trying to do something cool or new or awesome, and reminds us that we are none of those things and we just need to stay the path.
These limiting beliefs, much like an overly protective parent, are only trying to keep us safe and on the path of least resistance, most of the time. Take this example: You have a very safe, very secure job. That job is providing you income, which allows you to, you know, eat, have a place to live, and continue to pay for your car that gets you to that job every day. Yet, somewhere deep inside of you, you know that job isn’t your life’s purpose (more on that later….). You might be excellent at your job, you may work hard at it…but your internal lightbulb stays completely dim. Erstwhile, there is a recurring daydream you have about a time when you were in middle school and thought you were going to host a news program or a talk show. You fantasize about this on the regs…and that’s when those damn LBs rear their ugly heads. They tell you:
“That’s a stupid idea. You have an income. What would you do without it?”
“You have no experience in that, girl. Well, at least since you were 14.”
“You aren’t good enough…there are thousands of other people who want to do that, all of which are better than you.”
“You can’t switch careers this late in the game.”
“You shouldn’t aim so high…it’s unrealistic.”
“You aren’t smart enough to do that.”
“You don’t have enough time to practice what it takes to make it out there.”
“What you have right now is good enough.”
We all have these thoughts (though they may be centered around scads of other things…money, relationships, family, food…), and we let them rule our daily decisions, whether or not we even realize it. The first step to taking control of our dream is to recognize these limiting beliefs. Stare those LB’s right in the eyes. Give them the attention they’ve wanted in the years they’ve been nagging at you every time you try to do something different.
2. At any moment, I can stop myself and choose a different perspective.
Two choices, guys: we can keep living this totally limited life we are leading currently (but if you read this far…maybe that’s not what we all want….), OR…in the words of one of my favorite people, Ms. Gabby Bernstein, we can choose again. Pick a different perspective. Maybe you don’t have an exact replacement for that limiting belief yet—that’s something we will work on in upcoming weeks—but each time you hear an LB stuck on repeat in that noggin of yours, acknowledge it. Realize it is coming from a place of fear, then give it the opportunity to be released. Know that it is not serving you, and give yourself the freedom of listening to it over and over again. Even saying the words: “Thank you, but I am capable of creating my own dream,” to yourself will help to put you back in the driver’s seat of your awesome life.
3. My perspective on what is currently happening might be different than everyone elses', and that’s okay.
This part is hard. I’m going to ask you to keep coming back to this, positive people. Not everyone will think this way. Lots of people are stuck in the collective hell of this world (myself included, for most of my adult life). To be completely candid, I still fall back into that hell from time to time, because I am 100% a work in progress. But, when I am able to slap back my limiting beliefs and live from a more positive perspective, I have to remember that not everyone is in that place…and I am going to ask you to remember that as well. Negative energy is a giant, amorphous sucking thing, and it gloms on to anyone willing to let their limiting beliefs drive their car. Not everyone else is going to have this newfound perspective on life…some people may call you crazy, or idealistic, or ignorant…but that is a part of their dream, not yours.
This is your short dream on this planet, my friends. If you are ready for something different, and you are ready to take this journey with our positive posse, check out the assignment below.
Rock your rose-colored glasses, my friends, and until next week,
I love you!
This week’s assignment:
This week, we need to bear witness to those LB’s as they try to commandeer our ship, a la Jack Sparrow (though they are definitely not as cute, trust). Carry this week’s assignment sheet with you, and any time you hear yourself repeating those limiters, write them down. At the end of the day, say each of those thoughts out loud (you’d be surprised how just giving them airtime will make you realize how incorrect they are), and be sure to also thank them, and let them know you are able to create your own dream without them in it.
Some of my favorite self-help books give reference to and ideas for knocking your limiting beliefs to the curb. I’ll reference these guys time and time again, but you will always find a list of other resources to dive into to receive an even deeper understanding of this week’s intention. Click on each book title below to learn more!